Empty Nest/Funny Hat

When the child/children fly the coop, so to speak. What’s left? A bedroom, some of their things, loads of memories around every corner. Parents have dedicated everything they have to their child/children and then send them on their way, it’s an experience worth doing! Even though there is a big hole in my life and my heart aches, every time I talk to them I am refilled with awe at the whole people they have become. Being with them fills me up. When we are together it’s like no time has passed. But when it’s time to say goodbye, at the airport, dorm, train station the pain and sadness comes back.

Coping with the swirling array of emotions is unique to everyone. Some parents get angry before the goodbye, have fights, stop speaking, keep distances in a futile attempt to prevent strong emotions from coming up. I even know a few parents who self-medicate with alcohol and drugs to try to dull the pain. This makes it much worse for everyone.

Aim to BRING IT ON!

Why parenting and the eventual change in relationships are TOTALLY worth doing?  Because pain and loneliness can be transformed. Finding both peace and possibility with a few tweaks to life feels amazing. Sharing new stories with kids is empowering and an excellent example for their eventual life choices. 

  1. Pride! Feeling proud of the young adults they have become. Observing the challenges they overcome and finding humor at the decisions along their road.
  2. Gratitude! What an awesome journey it has been working together with another person for all those years. To have the experiences of closeness and bonding that comes with parenting, I give thanks.
  3. Opportunity! During sadness, I allow myself to cry, but get right up and move toward something important to ME now. The decision to learn to fly seemed like a small decision at the time and has been one of my best decisions EVER. Some of my friends have started their own businesses, made travel and full move adventures, one even started to learn about race car driving.

I know there are other parents out there. Feeling the empty space where children used to live. Jump on our empty nest train, you are in good company! Come along on your own new journey. Share what you are doing with all that wonderful time and space available just for you now.

I am seeking ways today, after I made a trip to the airport to drop off one of the grown hatchlings, to find humor. As I write this, considering what to call it, I realized how funny it would be to use the empty nest as a funny hat. I am reminded of opening day at the race track and crazy hat day. Since I don’t have my own photo, I did a search and found some very amusing images. This one I thought particularly fitting: https://www.pinterest.com/pin/341992165436090757/

Additional Resources:

If you can’t stop strong emotions, PLEASE contact a professional…

Signs & Symptoms of Empty Nest Syndrome

Empty Nest Syndrome

Re-feather the Empty Nest

Published by tferrari

Over 25 years as an entrepreneur, business owner, consultant. BA in Psychology from University of California at San Diego MA from Alliant International University/California School of Professional Psychology

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